This morning my husband slipped out of bed before I did. After much deliberation about getting out of bed or attempting to fall back to sleep - I decided to get out of bed. My boys were still asleep...and still are as I write this. That makes for a very quite morning. When I made my way downstairs, I found my husband watching one of my favorite local speakers on tv for Blackhawk Christian Church. I knew immediately that what he was talking about wasn't going to be boring, or "churchy" for that matter. He was talking about widows - and how we should take care of "our" widows. He spoke about his father and mother toward the end of their lives. It first made me think of people I know that take care of their widows. My very good friend, Cindy and her husband Kevin mow her mother-in-law's spacious yard - many times they both mow at the same time to get it done faster if that is any indication on how large the yard is. I have heard her say many times about taking "the mothers", her mother and mother-in-law, out to dinner - or shopping for dresses for their grandchildren's wedding.
Then I started thinking about my widow in my life.
For the record, calling her a widow makes me a little sick to my stomach. Her husband, my grandfather, was a very important part of my life - and the memories of him are a treasure to me. I don't even count the years he has been gone. Any amount of years is too many in my book. The life they lead together is incredible to me.
My grandmother lives on her own in Florida. She has a job - the same job she has had since I was in elementary school. She is approaching mid 80s and I find that all to be very impressive. My father's mother died when she was 70 years old from cancer. That too was a heartbreak to me. To know that my mother's mom is 14 years older than my father's mom was when she passed away is amazing to me. I'm continually thankful for my grandmother's health.
As a woman, I understand there are some things - especially around the home - that I just can't do. For somethings that need to be done around our house and yard, I am not strong enough - not tall enough - or just simply do not have the knowledge to do some things. I cannot imagine adding 50 years to my life, taking away my husband, and still having to maintain things that I can't even maintain by myself in my current stage in live. How does she do it? How does anyone do it?
Of course, like I mentioned above - there are Cindys in life that will tend to things like mowing the lawn. And quite frankly, with the weather we have had this spring here in Indiana - it's not as easy as just "mowing the lawn". We have had rain, rain, and more rain - that means that the yard may need to be mowed more than once a week - and they have their own yard to mow...and lives to tend to as well.
I am lucky to have these men and their families taking care of my grandmother.
My cousin Robert and his wife Kristie and my uncle Jim and his wife Debbie have really stepped up to the plate and have taken good care of my grandmother - not only since my grandfather has gone, but even before that. Not only helping her with things around her home, but also to give emotional support, and just time spent visiting.
In a recent visit to Florida - I asked my grandmother how she was doing. Her response was, "I am so, so lucky to have these boys here - they come to visit me all the time and they are always doing things for me." It was right then that I knew I am ever indebted to them. They do what I am not able to. They take time out of their busy lives for someone so important to my whole family - because without her - none of us would be here.
Forever grateful.
